ZEPHYRA AND TE LARD OF TEH RINGZ
by xXxZEPHYRAxXxDIAMONDZxXx
Summary: my teacheh mad me red this movie, LEGOALS is SO HOT! I want 2 marry him an have all his babys. SEXI!
1. Chapter 1

**ZEPHYRA AND TE LARD OF TEH RINGZ**

 **affers nut: my teacheh mad me red this movie, LEGOALS is SO HOT! I want 2 marry him an have all his babys. SEXI!**

CHAPTER 1: ZEfy da hobbit

oh yeah my couzin jimmy is helping me spell cocks this one. THANKS JIMMY! His a really great writer. I LOVE U! no not dat way lol but hes my fave cousin evah. LOl.

anyways.

There was one a place called Hobbitland or whatever ok lol I forgot what its called because I didn't really red the book my cousin Jimmy did. Ok lol. He says its called New Hampshire or something like dat but its kinda been a while since he red it so hes not really sure either heh. Ok lol. THANKS JIMMEH. Anyways there was a place called New Hampshire where the hobbit dudes lived. They all had hairy feet and they were al kind of ugly and short except for one Zephyra! She was really hot. One day she was wearing a really lung dress made of SILK, with pearls and rhinestones all over it and diamonds around the color and down in the neck lane to accident her sexi large cleavage. also she had on a bunch of sexy bracelets that accented her long sexy tanned arms that she got done at ZOO TAN! and chains around her wrists and a spiky collar thing like the kinds sexy dogs wear aoujrnd there necks. And a thong. And BRA! And 16 inch hells. (hehe Jimmeh just turned Britt red. HEHE. So funny 2 make him uncruciable. HEHE.)

Anyways Zephyra was a sexi habit. Her feet were not hairy ok maybe they were a little bit hairy and they hair was brite pink and put in a braid.

Her best friend was...JIMMY!

Jimmy was really haute also he had lung black hair sort of like down to his shoulders and sporkling green eyes kind of like emeralds kind of like Hairy potters eyes, also he had a tattoo if Nail Horan on his back that took of his entire back with NAIL in sexy script on it, also he had on a black shirt of one direction on and black baggy pants with chain instead of belt.

One day there where in there hobbit hose. They lived 2gether. But its ok because there were related lol. And they dont do an appropriate stuff or any thong. There cousins. Anyways they where in the hobo house talking about...ONCE DIRECTION!

"Omg I love One die rectum SO MUCH" said Zephyra sexily putting on a one direction shirt that said I LOVE NIALL WHOREMAN.

"Yea" said Jimeh "but I'm a guy so Im strait. And Im not in love with thhem." He pot on a shirt that said MILEY CURIE because miles Cyrus is his favorite singer and stuff lol because miles curys is hot and has like shart blond hair with slutty pink hilites in it. "Miller Curie is my FAVORED singer evah and also shez realleh hot."

"In fact I love them so much I wil...MARRY NIAL WHOARNA!"

"OMG Thats a really good idea I wanna get martyred to Miley Cruz also maybe we can have like a doable wedding at the same time,"

So then.

Then...

NIAL HORNY!

"Nail Horny, Will you marry me?" She gotted a ring box out from her pocket and then got down on one knee there was a really long slut up the side of the dress that showed off her sexy tanned ZOOM TAN legs~! nAIL screened with derisive pleasure then said "YES YES YES YES YES! BABY!" And They moshed there faces together into a sexy passionless kiss that was SO HAUTE! "Mm mMM mM m" said Nail and her and they stuck each others tangs in there mouths. Nails tang tasted kind of like chocolate. MMMMM He slid his tong around in here mouth and then slid it down here throat. They mad love to each others mouths then Zephyra quickly changed into a whitting dress.

In then next room Jimmeh was sexily asking out Miley Curie.

"Miley Curer...WELL YOU MARY ME?"

"umm"

He gut out a ring box then bent don on the grind on front her and he had also a sexy slit up the side off his pants that showed off stuff. Miles cure screened happily and said "YES YESSY YSYSYSYEYYYES BABEH" Then they started making out the same way that Zpehrya and Nole had made out. Also back in Zephyras room Zayn Malik was also getting marryed to Zephyra so they could have a super SEXY three sun. "Zayn Malice...KILL YOU MARRY ME?" "YES" so then Zayn and Malice and Zepjyra and Nole were all marryed. Then they wet next door and had a ..HONEY MOON! It was haute and epic and they had really haute sex. Nails thing was like 10 feet long and Zayns was like 8.5, Then suddenly while they were having there horny moon...AKFJKKSKFJFKSKA was the sound of the door broke on. Someone came into the room! It was...DILDO BAGGINS!

"ARMRMRRHRHR" snurkled Bilgo.

"wtf" said Nail angrily whippin his junk in Bimbos face.

"GIVE ME UR RING" sed Bimbo.

"wut"

DEN.

DILDO BITED OFF THE FINGER! Of the wedding ring. their was blood every whore. "OGMGOGKGMGMG" screekled Zephrya nad cryed.

"MINE" gargled Bimbo.

Then...

HE DISAPPARATED!

"omg" said zphyera "omg Nail bby r u ok?"

(im cryn 4 rehl rite no)

"no Im dyen my dang fingurz is bit off" he branded his bloody hand in Zephyra face. "it fukken hurts."

"oh baby"

She bangled up his fungus and then kissed it also. Because that walways makes it fell better. When ur boyfriend kissed ur injures and stuff. And also kisses other stuff. So Zephyra started having a three sum with NAIL and he stopped having pain.

Than...

"MY WADDING RING IS GONE IM SO FUKKEN PISSED" yelled Nail "THAT WAS MY GRANDFATHER BILBO BAGGERS RING IT HAD SECRET MAGICAL POWERS!" 0-0 said everyone then "wEE MIST FIND IT!" SCREEKLED zephyrs bravely. "LOTS GO ON A TRIP TO MORDOR TO FIND IT!" Zephyra through a bunch of stuff in a bag a ton of clothes from her entire wardrobe sexi heels so her hobbut feet wouldnt be hurt from walking, also makeup, and condemns so she wouldnt get repugnant from her husbands. Also her katana. Than they went outside and went outside and started walking 2 mordor.


	2. GOING 2 MORDOR

(affers nut: ppol kep sayin i say sed to much so mah anglish teecher did a thing called "sed is ded". u haf 2 pretend sed is ded. an ur not aloud 2 us dat word. so u had 2 us other words lik utterd screemd whisperd clamed yeled an ajakulated. so. SED IS DED! rip. if u se rhe word "sed' in mah stury then mak sur 2 tel me abot it in mah commence. PECE. no flams.)

CHARTER 2: GOING 2 MORDOR

"Omg I dont know whore we are" uttered Nial confused. "Nun of this shit looks familial."

"0-0"

"Mabel we should find the Doras map" claimed Zephyra.

"DORA" skreekled Nail.

Nutting happened.

"wtf" cracked Nail.

"I Gus it docent exist yet" sexclaimed Zayn. "Well have 2 do without."

"Maybe...we...should...find the MARAUDERS MAP!" he whiskered. Then Nail did a summoners spell and the murders map appeared so did Jerry Potter.

"HI IM JERRY POTHEAD" he cried.

"Omg your real?! I thought your where just a legend told to score small children!" Zephyra explained stricken by how hot he was. He had curl black hair and glasses and a mustache sort of like Hitler but he's not hitler ok. My Mom Told Me that Jerry Pothead was this weirdo sicko who lived in mountains and ate children and...DID SATANISM! Also he did pot to."

"Im aways real I am...IMMORTAL"

"Ooooooooooooooooo"

"I have the murders map" he verbalized then took out a map. "THIS IS IT.!" he phonated then showed them the map it was old. It was like 100000000000000 years old than my grandma. And the paper was like failing appart and covered in mold. "Its fallen apart but if you get some SCOTCH TAPE than you can probably fix it."

"Scots tape wtf that" ejaculated Nail.

"Its this" roared Harry took out a thingy of Scots tape. "I will give it to u if u cant answer the riddle" he stated.

"Ok whats the riddle."

"Thats 4 me 2 know and u2 find out." (U2 ROKS! my mom listen 2 that and its reeeeeeleh old. if u kno whore they are LICK MY STORY!1) ANYWYS

"Wot du u mean" divulged Zayn.

"U must figure out the riddle AND the answer."

"oK"

Then...HE DISAPPERED!

"Hum wat kan I do" yelped Zephyra.

"I know"

Zayn want back into the hobbat house he cum out with a book. HARRY POTER AND THE PHOSPHOROUS STONE. "Lets reed." They started reeding the book to do research. "Ok lol his is too hard" shrieked Zephyra then got the book on her kindle fire and used the search thingy. "Hum lets search...RIDDLE! Maybe their will be a secret ritual that can be found in the book." She searched for Ritalin. Then. "TOM RIDDLE!" "I know haw we shall answer the riddle we must find TOM RIDDLE! And kill him. She ejaculated.

"YAS" hailed Zayn.

"Tom Riddler real name is Voldemort" choked Zephyra "We must fid...VOLDMEORT!"

"Ok"

"To find Voldemart we must find...FRODO!"


End file.
